"Ocean Levels Could Rise Foot or More If Lots of People Go Swimming"

I was shocked! Will my friends in the Netherlands have to move during the summer season? Will their houses be flooded by the North Sea and molt stay in the walls till the end of their lives? What will happen to all the nature there? I couldn´t believe it when I read that article and had to do find explanations.

Fortunately my research didn´t last very Long. I scrolled up the website and found what I needed: it was written by “The Onion”, one of the most popular fake- websites in the World Wide Web.

The unknown author used parody, hyperbole and slapstick as comedic advices to attract the reader.

Parody can be found where he makes fun of the actual fear of people that sea levels are on the rise. Global warming contributes to the melting of pole caps and increasing ocean levels. People all over the world are concerned about “their” planet, sure that they will get interested after reading the headline of this article.

Hyperboles, or also called overstatements, in combination with the slapstick (an exaggerated physical violence) make their way through the whole text. The author describes how the ocean level would rise, when a lot of people decide to go swimming at the same time, which definitely is not the case. He develops this idea with the outlook that, if people would go under the water all the way, the rise would be much more significant. At the end of the article, to make the top of the iceberg, the author describes that, if many people would jump from a boat the same time, the probability of tsunamis would explode and coastal cities could be in a great danger.

The article is written in a serious tone and supported by sources like the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration and quotes from oceanographer Paul Acosta, which are either “real” institutions or scientists. And to give this article a concerning touch, the reader will find the advice, only to walk in the water until their waists, at the end.

So, there is something wrong with this whole article. It is ridiculous. But what is in it that makes it like this. I did some research and found it out: it´s the “exaggerated physical violence”, the slapstick. I don´t want to be the party pooper, but… if my calculations are right, it takes more than a lot of people at the same time to make the ocean levels go rise. Let´s take an average 154lbs- person, which takes a room of 2.45ft³ when you fold him together. The earth is covered with water up to 71%, which takes a surface area of about 3.88x 10¹⁵ ft². So after doing some math, I found out that there have to be 1.58 quadrillion people to make oceans rise 1ft (if they go under all the way), in other words 219243 times the current world population.

Just to let you know how it really is!